Who Dat? Who dat? Who dat? Who dat say dey gonna beat Where Icarus Flies Episode 9? Who dat? Who dat?

WhereIF Episode 9 Contents

Things were dark here in the Where Icarus Flies studio for a couple of weeks. One week was shot due to technology difficulties. Basically, my computer was fried! Thanks to Mac OS X Snow Leopard and my Time Machine backup, it was not hard to get back up-to-speed! If only I hadn’t wasted most of the week trying to diagnose and solve the problem. I should have gone to the backup earlier! Live and learn!

Last week was just plain busy here at the Where Icarus Flies compound! By the time the smoke cleared from the week, it was Sunday morning! Lots of good stuff happened, including our Cub Scout Pack’s Pinewood Derby! One of my favorite jobs as Cubmaster is to be the announcer and race started at the derby! I like to say that I never met a microphone I didn’t like!!!

I also want to wish a big Happy Birthday to my buddy Fred! The big 40!!! Fred, you’ll always be old enough to jam!

Anyway, here is what I have for you this week…

Where Icarus Flies Jambalaya

This is a new segment that I like to say has a lot of ingredients! When it is all boiled up, it hopes to be a savory and possibly spicy dish! I discuss the Super Bowl, the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, the 52nd Grammy Awards, Conan O’Brien and American Idol.

Super Bowl XLIV

For you non Romans out there, that would be Super Bowl 44. The Who Dat Nation vs. The Hoosier Nation. Two power house teams looking to win it all! America is acting like the Saints are the underdogs, but all rational thought should have them being the favorites. Join my discussion within Where Icarus Flies Jambalaya.

Unbreakable Records

Which records cannot be broken? With so many records (both stupid, yes I am talking to you Guinness Book, and honorable) this is a huge topic. I limit the discussion to most the major US sports, although I do mention some Entertainment, Cricket, Tennis and other records as part of the discussion. How can any genuine discussion of this nature not include The Don’s 99.94 Test average? As hard as it was, I choose my Top 5 unbreakable records.

Pete Rose’s All Time Career Hits

As part of the unbreakable records discussion, I talk about some major records that I do not think are untouchable. Pretty much any NFL record, Wilt’s 100 point night, Gretzky’s career point total and Pete Rose’s all time career hits are in my list. I take a closer look at Charlie Hustle’s record and 7 players that have a legitimate shot at surpassing him.

Hoover Report

Joey Hoover reports in on Justice Alito, the NFL, Toyota, Lady Gaga and more! Don’t miss his unique take on the world!

Podcast File Info – Episode 9

I have gone back to making the enhanced version of the podcast (.m4a) the default version in my RSS Feed and on iTunes. If you have any problems with it, let me know (although if you use iTunes, .m4a is not a problem). I have received feedback that some mobile devices have trouble with the enhanced version (yes, that is you Blackberry). You can still get the .mp3 version from the website.

  • Running time: 63 minutes
  • MP3 file size: 61MB
  • M4A file size: 63MB

All show ideas, comments and questions can be sent to feedback@whereicarusflies.com


Leno vs. ConanWhere Icarus Flies Episode 8 is not budging from its original time slot!

WhereIF Episode 8 Contents

Well, it has been an interesting week. The Balloon Boy’s dad went to jail, Earthquakes rock the globe, Tiger Woods looks like he will hide from The Masters, American Idol goes on without Paula, NBC creates yet another mess with The Tonight Show and that is just the start! We have no time to waste let’s get right to it. This is what I have for you this week…

NBC Prime Time/Late Night/Leno/Conan Disaster!

What the hack is going on over at NBC? These are the words, more or less, that have been said over and over this week by all sane individuals. This is a screw-up of major proportions. The battle lines have been drawn, but I think they have been drawn incorrectly. In the last few days, folks have been dividing into Team Leno and Team Conan (a.k.a. Team Coco). This is very unfair to Jay. The war is between Team Conan and Team NBC. Although I am sure that Jay is not innocent, neither is Conan. He helped contribute to this mess as much as anyone else by pushing for The Tonight Show as hard as he has. Don’t get me wrong, he was within his right, but Leno never wanted to leave The Tonight Show. He was forced out.

The bad guy in this tale is, of course, NBC. They created this mess. Is Conan getting screwed? Yes… yes he is. Don’t forget, however, Jay is getting (has already gotten and continues to be) screwed as well. Sure, no one cries for a multimillionaire who has an aircraft hanger full of fancy cars. Still, he is just as much a victim as Conan. I am fans of both Leno and Conan. Unfortunately, NBC has created a situation where only one can stay. Who should it be? You’ll just ha Abrhams ve to listen and find out.

Hollywood and the Current Reboot Fad

What is the difference between a reboot, a remake, a retelling, a retooling, a reinvention and a refresh? Who cares! What we really want are good movies. Done right, with the right franchise at the right time, rewriting the story into a similar, yet new tale can be just what the doctor ordered. Take Star Trek (2009) for example. After 10 movies the Star Trek franchise was tired and worn. That being said, it is still a highly successful franchise that just needed a pick-me-up. There are a lot of things that they could have done, but they chose to rewrite events from a point in the franchise’s past and create an alternate timeline for a new story (fitting for a sci-fi franchise). J.J. Abrams was the right director, he chose a great cast and they had a decent script. It all worked very well and Star Trek is likely to get a Best Picture nomination this year. Could it have flopped? Sure.

Star Trek is not the first success and will not be the last. Batman Begins is another great success story. There have also been horrible failures. I am not just talking about bad remakes, there are lot’s of those. I am talking about movies that were intended to reignite a franchise, but failed. Moves like Godzilla (1998) and Planet of the Apes (2001). I read that Hollywood wants reboot the Teen Wolf and Ghostbuster franchises. Are we really calling it the Teen Wolf franchise? Anyway… are we really that short of good new screenplays? Please say it ain’t so!

“Would you like debit or credit?”

Bank card fees. What are they, why are they, where are they? The answer to this now common everyday question makes a big difference to our economy. I spend some time oversimplifying and demystifying bank transaction fees. I bet you didn’t know that Visa was the schoolyard bully. Come find out why.

The Hoover Report

Joey stops by to give us his take on Kate Gosselin’s new show, the 2010 U.S. Census, Pat Robertson (man, what an idiot) and more.

Masterworks Theatre

We have a very special Masterworks Theatre this week. I give a dramatic reading of part of Conan O’Brien’s statement. Which, I think, will forever be known as The Statement.

Podcast File Info – Episode 8

I have gone back to making the enhanced version of the podcast (.m4a) the default version in my RSS Feed and on iTunes. If you have any problems with it, let me know (although if you use iTunes, .m4a is not a problem). I have received feedback that some mobile devices have trouble with the enhanced version (yes, that is you Blackberry). You can still get the .mp3 version from the website.

  • Running time: 58 minutes
  • MP3 file size: 56MB
  • M4A file size: 58MB

All show ideas, comments and questions can be sent to feedback@whereicarusflies.com


No Child Left Behind… really????

Where Icarus Flies Episode 7 is full of hope and optimism for the new year ahead!

WhereIF Episode 7 Contents

It has been a month since my last podcast. I can’t believe how quickly time flies! You have also noticed that I have neglected both updating the blog with articles or posting on Twitter. What can I say, I was overwhelmed by the end of 2009 and the first days of 2010! I haven’t even listened to any other podcasts since the beginning of December! I normally listen to the That’s What She Said Podcast with Kevin and Matt, but I haven’t even had time to do that! Excuses, excuses, I know! Anyway, let’s get to what you have in store this week…

Holiday Season Recap

It was craziness at the WhereIF compound this holiday season! I tell you a bit about the close of the year, some of the great Christmas gifts 0f 2009 and what I hope to accomplish in 2010.

Apple TV

Yep, I got an Apple TV! I have been using it for about a month. I give you my review, it’s pros and cons and my impressions of using a 3rd party product called ATV Flash to take Apple TV to the next level!

No Child Left Behind (NCLB)

The main topic this week is the No Child Left Behind Act of 2001. This attempt at education reform is pure garbage! A friend of mine said it best the other day, “NCLB creates nothing more than mediocrity. The high students are not challenged, the low students are not helped and the middle students stay in the middle.” Don’t be fooled by the bogus stats that supporters of this ill conceived legislation throw at you. They have done nothing but manipulate the data. NCLB went into effect in 2003 (although the law was signed by President Bush in January of 2002). There was a larger jump in Math and Reading scores from 2000 to 2003 than from 2003 to 2007 (when NCLB was in effect). You can check out the U.S. Department of Education if you want to verify for yourself.

NCLB just does not work! Education reform cannot be legislated through unrealistic goals and punishment. Teachers are saddled with unrealistic expectations and given no time to get through all of the curriculum let alone be able to stop and help the low students! NCLB punishes teachers and schools who do not meet unrealistic test score results, but does nothing to actually help the students that are not at grade level. Those students are still pushed through the system! Listen in as I give you my thoughts on this debacle.

The Hoover Report

Joey is back from the hiatus revved up and ready to go! This week he gives you his unique insight on Demi Moore, Mariah Carey, Sour Patch kids and more!

Podcast File Info – Episode 7

I have gone back to making the enhanced version of the podcast (.m4a) the default version in my RSS Feed and on iTunes. If you have any problems with it, let me know (although if you use iTunes, .m4a is not a problem). I have received feedback that some mobile devices have trouble with the enhanced version (yes, that is you Blackberry). You can still get the .mp3 version from the website.

  • Running time: 56 minutes
  • MP3 file size: 52MB
  • M4A file size: 50MB

All show ideas, comments and questions can be sent to feedback@whereicarusflies.com



For a first time podcaster I think he is doing a fine job. This is an enjoyable podcast to listen to with some interesting points of view. Whether you agree with any of the content or not, it is one person’s take on a variety of issues. I definitely enjoy hearing what is instore for every new podcast and can’t wait to see how this evolves. If you only listen to this once, it is something you should try before moving on to another podcast. Even a Yankee fan can enjoy listening to a Red Sox every now and then.

4 stars out of 5

by South of Boston -December 5th, 2009

I have been waiting and waiting and I finally received the first review of my podcast in iTunes. Well, here it is! One review! An empire is built one stone at a time isn’t it? Wow, my first review! Can’t you see this snowballing into a multi-media empire? Howard Stern who? Sirius/XM HERE I COME!!!! Let’s take a look at the timetable:

  • October 28, 2009: Where Icarus Flies goes live and my first podcast is posted. Multiple episodes ensue.
  • October 30, 2009: First comment on the Where Icarus Flies blog by Kevin Crossman
  • November 12, 2009: Joey Hoover joins show on our 3rd episode. Hilarity ensues and we would never be the same again.
  • November 13, 2009: Joey gets a “Twittah” account.
  • November 18, 2009: WhereIF has it’s first retweet (RT) regarding the podcast by @kevincrossman.
  • December 5, 2009: Our first review is posted in iTunes by South of Boston. The positive buzz it generates is incalculable!
  • December 11, 2009: Additional iTunes reviews begin poring in!
  • December 14, 2009: Where Icarus Flies is top link on Digg and #WhereIF becomes a top Trending Topic on Twitter!
  • December 21, 2009: The Where Icarus Flies buzz is felt all over The Net. Where Icarus Flies is featured on ABC KGOTV, Channel 7, 6pm and 11pm newscasts.
  • December 22, 2009: NBC KNTV, Channel 11 and FOX KTVU, Channel 2 also have feature stories.
  • December 23, 2009: OK Magazine interviews Joey for the January edition.
  • December 27, 2009: Where Icarus Flies tops Bing, Yahoo! and Google’s revised top searches for 2009
  • December 30, 2009: Bill & Joey appear on NBC’s The Today Show. Joey begins dating Meredith Vieira who leaves her husband of 20+ years, Richard Cohen.
  • December 31, 2009: Joey breaks up with Meredith Vieira after he realizes she is not Katie Couric. Bill & Joey become the new hosts of Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve (now called WhereIF Rocks the New Year). Ryan Seacrest is outraged and decides to quit American Idol and live on a mountain in Tibet. Dick Clark doesn’t seem to notice.
  • January 4-8, 2010: Bill & Joey make the rounds, appearing on Connan, Leno, Letterman, Kimmel & Fallon.
  • January 12, 2010: Bill takes over as the host of American Idol. Joey begins dating Kara Dioguardi, who ends her 7 month marriage to Mike McCuddy.
  • January 22, 2010: Joey becomes both a columnist for ESPN’s Page 2 and an anchor for Sports Center.
  • January 25, 2010: Joey breaks up with Kara Dioguardi. She dives into deep depression and must be removed form American Idol. Joey takes over as the new 4th judge.
  • January 26, 2010: Bill is hired as a voice actor on The Simpsons & Family Guy.
  • January 30, 2010: Bill & Joey host SNL. Joey begins dating Kristen Wiig.
  • February 2, 2010: Joey breaks up with Kristen Wiig after realizing that she is not Amy Adams.
  • February, 4 2010: Bill appears on Larry King and Joey appears on The View. Joey begins dating Elisabeth Hasselbeck who leaves husband Tim Hasselbeck.
  • February 7, 2010: Bill & Joey become the new CBS Sports Superbowl booth duo. The game is a dream come true as an improbable Patriots victory over the Saints, 40-34.
  • February 8, 2010: Joey breaks up with Elisabeth Hasselbeck after he realizes he broke up a relationship between two BC Eagles.
  • February 10, 2010: Joey counsels Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Tim Hasselbeck back together. They thank him with lifetime tickets to The Beanpot in the BC section.
  • February 12, 2010: Bill & Joey attend the Olympic Opening Ceremonies in Vancouver, Canada. Bill is given the honor of lighting the Olympic Cauldron!
  • February 13, 2010: Bill & Joey are asked to visit the White House and have lunch with the President and First Lady. Joey begins dating Kristen Jarvis (Special Assistant for Scheduling and Traveling Aide To The First Lady).
  • February 17, 2010: TMZ posts pictures of Joey with Rachel Uchitel and Nicole Bobek. Scandal ensues after TMZ reports Bobek is on bail for a methamphetamine bust in July. Joey denies any drug involvement.  Kristen Jarvis stops taking calls from Joey.
  • February 20, 2010: Bill and a very emotional Joey Hoover sit with Barbara Walters in a new 90-minute special. Joey clears his name.
  • February 25, 2010: Joey appears on Oprah and Bill appears on Ellen. Joey cries a lot and gets a makeover while Bill has fun in a guest chef segment with Ellen.
  • March 1, 2010: Bill & Joey enter into discussion with Sirius/XM for a Where Icarus Flies show and channel.
  • March 7, 2010: Bill & Joey host the 82nd Academy Awards. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin are stunned at the last minute change. Highest rated Oscar broadcast in 30 years. Joey begins dating Jennifer Aniston.
  • March 10, 2010: Sirius/XM sign Bill & Joey for an undisclosed amount ($120 million).
  • March 13. 1010: Joey beats the crap out of Brad Pitt for his treatment of Jennifer. Joey is heard screaming, “Fight Club this bitch!” Brad understands and is sorry. Bill and Joey are brought into the inner circle of Brad Pitt and George Clooney.
  • March 20, 2010: Where Icarus Flies goes live on Sirius/XM to overwhelming critical success. Brad Pitt is their first live guest. After the show, Bill & his family, Joey & Jen, Brad & George fly off to Clooney’s estate in Italy. Angelina is pissed she does not get an invite. They all have a great time!

Wow! All of this because of my first review on iTunes! I can’t wait!!!

I would love for you to add a review of my podcast in iTunes.


HD LogoWhere Icarus Flies, Episode 6 is coming at you in full 1080p!

WhereIF – Episode 6 Contents

Joey and I may have been off last week, but we are back with a vengeance this week! We are trying out a new segment called Rapid Fire Hoover. I’ll explain that a little later in this blog post. Next week is the Where Icarus Flies Mailbag! If you have something to say to either Joey or I, send it to feedback@whereicarusflies.com. You could have your message read during the show!

DirectTV HD DVR vs. DirecTV Tivo

I love DirecTV. I have been a loyal customer for years and they have always been good to me. I recently upgraded my service to HD. In the process I had to give up my original standalone Tivo and my DirecTV Tivo. It was hard to let go. The Tivo units are like members of the family! This week I talk about my upgrade experience and how the DirectTV DVR is not as bad as everyone says (at least the HD DVR, anyway).

720p vs. 1080i (and 1080p)

Which is better, 720p, 1080i or 1080p? Are we talking /24, /30 or /60? No, those slashes are not typos. I am reffering to 24 frames per second (fps), 30fps and 60fps. I have done a lot of research this past week and to me it is fairly inconclusive. What I was surprised at is that 1080p is not universally agreed on as better than 720p. Listen in to see what I found out. If you have input, please send it to feedback@whereicarusflies.com or post a comment on the blog.

Cool Gadgets for Christmas

Find out my top seven gadgets for Christmas! I also have an honorable mention list with five more!

Joey Hoover in the House!

Not only do we have the weekly Hoover Report, but a new segment called Rapid Fire Hoover! Listen in and find out what all the buzz is about!

Masterworks Theatre

Masterworks Theatre is back this week just in time for the Holiday Season! This week, I read a great poem: It’s Christmas Time Again.

Podcast File Info – Episode 6

The last two weeks, I have made the enhanced version of the podcast (the .mp4 version) the default in my RSS feed. I am going to change it to the .mp3 version to see if it makes a difference in the number of downloads. You can still get the .mp4 version from my website and from my Atom feed.

  • Running time: 52 minutes
  • MP3 file size: 52MB
  • M4A file size: 50MB

All show ideas, comments and questions can be sent to feedback@whereicarusflies.com




by WhereIF

Neverwhere: A Novel

This is another stellar job by Neil Gaiman! American Gods was my fist serious foray into the world of Neil Gaiman. I fell in love and it was moved into the category of one of the best books that I had ever read. When it came to Neverwhere, I had already read a handful of Gaiman’s other works. Although I enjoyed everything I have read from him, I was not sure I would enjoy a book as much as I enjoyed American Gods.

Anansi Boys was also quite good, but Neverwhere had a different feel to it than the other works of his that I read. Oh, Neverwhere is distinctly Gaiman, but at the same time he takes you in a different direction. You can see the influences Neverwhere had on both American Gods and Anansi Boys. As much as I revere American Gods, for me, it is not a re-read novel. I’ll certainly return to it again one day. Neverwhere, however, is for me, a novel that will not get old.

I grew up enjoying roll playing games (RPGs) like Dungeons & Dragons, Gamma World, Twilight 2000 and Call of Cthulhu. I thought that Neverwhere had a real RPG feel to it. I could easily see this as a much better RPG than Call of Cthulhu.  Hmmm, a new business opportunity. 😉

The Marquis de Carabas is an excellent character and has now become one of my favorite literary figures of all-time! The duo of Mr. Croup and Vandemar are also a treat. I’d love for Gaiman to explore more of the world of London Below. It would also be interesting to know what became of Richard Mayhew. Since reading I have heard rumor and conjecture that there will either be a sequel or a companion novel set in the world of London Below, although it will likely be in a different “Below” setting (meaning, not London but some other city’s Below world). I’ll keep my fingers crossed!

WhereIF Rating: 5 sets of wings out of 5, our highest possible rating!

5 of 5


Where Icarus Flies, Episode 5 is flying high and tight!

WhereIF – Episode 5 Contents

This week’s show was a bit more free form than previous shows. I almost succumbed to my laziness and didn’t record a podcast this week because of the Thanksgiving holiday. How could I do that and let my listeners down? Well, you know I couldn’t! I planned on this week’s show being a short show, targeting 20-25 minutes. Turns out that I am just too damn long winded and we hit the 47 minute mark! I did have a little help from Joey!

I switched back this week to having the enhanced version of the podcast in my main RSS feed and on iTunes. This should be the last week of switching back-and-forth. Next week, I should have enough data that I can commit to making one format my primary format.

Sun-maid Raisin Bread vs. Cinnabon Cinnamon Bread

I love raisin bread and nothing is better than Sun-maid raisin bread. Cinnabon makes cinnamon bread. Could it be better? Find out what I think in this week’s podcast.


Here in the USA we are celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow. A day that has lots of different meanings. In this week’s show I talk about what Thanksgiving means to me and give you some memories that I have from my childhood. Before walking down memory lane, I talk about my top three favorite books of all time!

The Hoover Report

Joey shows his Thanksgiving flair during the Hoover Report this week. Find out what Suuuuuucks this week.

Podcast File Info – Episode 5

The last two weeks, I have made the enhanced version of the podcast (the .mp4 version) the default in my RSS feed. I am going to change it to the .mp3 version to see if it makes a difference in the number of downloads. You can still get the .mp4 version from my website and from my Atom feed.

  • Running time: 47 minutes
  • MP3 file size: 45MB
  • M4A file size: 47MB

All show ideas, comments and questions can be sent to feedback@whereicarusflies.com


Einstein: His Life and UniverseI had put off reading this for a long time. Einstein is someone I am interested in, but enough to read an entire biography? WOW was I surprised how good this book was! If you think this book is all about physics and relativity, you are wrong.

Einstein was a complex, loving, flawed, amazing individual. From his boyhood in Germany through his struggles in Switzerland back to Germany to his eventual residence in America at Princeton University, Walter Isaacson brings us on an incredible journey into the life and mind of a seminal character in our human evolution. We learn of his politics, faith, cultural impact, philosophy of science, lustrous affairs, powers of abstraction, secret daughter and how he helped shape science for the rest of human history. All while dealing with rockstar fame in the second half of his life!

Seriously, I really didn’t think I would get drawn into this book as much as I did. Einstein’s personal life was fascinating. Did you know he was asked to be President of Israel? For those who are interested in his science and theories, that is in the book as well. The book takes us through Einstein’s major thought experiments, his Theory of GEneral Relativity, Theory of Special Relativity and more. Isaacson has the ability to give us Einstein’s science in a manageable and understandable way. You will not get lost in Physics while reading this book.

Einstein: His Life and Universe should not be missed. Learning about the humanity of one of the foremost minds the Earth has produced is worth the time.

WhereIF Rating: 5 sets of wings out of 5, our highest possible rating.

5 of 5

Stargate UniverseWhere Icarus Flies Episode 4 has left the building!

WhereIF – Episode 4 Contents

Well, I think we are slowly settling into our format. A couple small topics, our main discussion, The Hoover Report, Masterworks Theater and possibly a few other bits thrown in. I don’t want to get stagnant, so I’ll still look to mix it up from time to time, but for now a good rhythm is important.

Stargate Universe (SGU)

For Science Fiction fans, this is an excellent new show on SyFy (formally the SciFi Network). I am late in jumping on the bandwagon, and still 5 episodes behind, but after watching the 3 part intro I am happy to report that it is a good show! The acting and writing are good and the plot it a good one (they give a new spin to an oldie but goodie storyline).

V: The Reboot – Episode 3

I spend a couple of minutes giving my impressions of the 3rd episode in the new V:The Reboot series on ABC. I don’t want to spoil the podcast for you, so you’ll just have to listen in to hear what I think! 😉

Website Report

I talk very briefly about WhereIcarusFlies.com and the future of HooverReport.com, a website my good buddy Joey Hoover is planning to launch after the holidays.

Online Information & Your Safety

Should you use online banking? Are you better of never buying items from an online merchant? Is Facebook safe? I talk about information in our online world and how, despite your best efforts, your information is already out there for the taking! In my discussion I mention a good website to look at for tips on keeping your information safe. Although there are many good website that can educate you on this subject, a good place to start is http://www.onguardonline.gov/. I am working on a blog post to go into this topic in more detail, but I don’t expect it to be posted for a few weeks.


Where Icarus Flies has been receiving feedback from real listeners from all over the globe! Who woulda thunk??? Joey Hoover and I read through some feedback that we received about the show. Remember if you would like to contact us with your thoughts, ideas or anything else, send it to feedback@whereicarusflies.com. Maybe next time we will read your note on the show!

The Hoover Report

After the first installment of The Hoover Report last week, the feedback was extremely positive! Andy from Massachusetts writes, “Who the heck is Hoover?  I was laughing out loud!” Well, we were ecstatic! Joey is back at it again this week with more things “That Suuuuuuck!”

Masterworks Theater

We have a guest performance for Masterworks Theater this week. Listen in and find out who!

Podcast File Info – Episode 4

The last two weeks, I have made the enhanced version of the podcast (the .mp4 version) the default in my RSS feed. I am going to change it to the .mp3 version to see if it makes a difference in the number of downloads. You can still get the .mp4 version from my website and from my Atom feed.

  • Running time: 42 minutes
  • MP3 file size: 40MB
  • M4A file size: 42MB

All show ideas, comments and questions can be sent to feedback@whereicarusflies.com




by WhereIF

Twilight PosterAs we approach the release of the next movie in the Twilight saga, let me post a review I wrote and posted on Facebook back in August after I finally watched the Twilight movie with my wife. I have updated and added some content to my original review.

First let me start by stating three things:

  • I have not read the books, remember this is just a review of the movie, not the books
  • I understand I am not the target audience
  • The book is normally better than the movie (not always, just read the abysmal Chronicles of Narnia series and you’ll see how much better the movies have been)

This was a horrible movie from start to finish. I am not interested in hearing about how much better the books were. I will concede that the books are probably really good. One day I’ll take a stab at them, but I have other books on my list first.

Given #3 above, there have been movies that have been pretty darn good based on really good books. Where did Twilight go wrong? I think we could spend all day picking the movie apart, so here is my list of the big problems with this movie:

1. The Cast

I did not like he casting at all. Bella (Kristen Stewart) was awful. I will say that over the course of the movie she grew on me. By the end she was not annoying me as much as in the beginning.

Edward (Robert Pattinson) was abysmal. Not only was he an awful actor, but he is not good looking. He had some kind of Johnny Depp 21 Jumpstreet wannabe kind of look going on. I don’t have a problem going with no-name actors, but he was the best they could find?

The rest of the cast was mainly just as bad. James (Cam Gigandet) cold have been a great character in the movie, but he was wasted (he was Twilight’s Darth Maul). Jessica (Anna Kendrick) was the only other character in the movie I liked. She played her part well, although that is not saying much.

2. The Acting (see the cast, above)

3. The Screenplay/Directing/Editing

The books may be great, but the writing for the movie was terrible. The plot didn’t move along it was just pushed along by various scene cuts. This Perfect Storm of bad Screenplay/Directing/Editing is probably to blame for a lot of the poor acting, let’s face it, the actors didn’t have much to work with. That being said, it was still poor casting (Edward).

I understand that it is all but impossible to capture the book completely without making a 6 hour opus, but the screenplay really missed the mark. How do I know this without reading the book? My wife made sure to tell me while we were watching the movie! Every 10-15 minutes she gave a groan and said something like, “That is not how it happened” or “They messed that part up.” This was the 3rd time my wife watched the movie and she has read the complete series of books three times as well (including the version of Twilight written from Edward’s point of view).

A good comparison to give us some context: Look at the DaVinci Code. For my money, a decent movie. Did it do the book justice? No. The first 15 minutes of the movie took 20+ chapters to tell in the book. Harry Potter & Lord of the Rings are some recent examples of really good book adaptations for the silver screen. It can be done.

4. The Romance

So, I was told the romance should have carried the story. Due to #1, #2 and #3 above, there was no believable romance for me. I am a sappy, romance movie liker. It wasn’t there. My wife told me that the scene in the movie where they lie down in the field was a huge, awesome part of the book. In the move it just plain missed. Bella and Edward did not connect on screen. EVER!


So, all-in-all, it was a pretty poor movie. Given that it has vampires in it, it should be inherently cool. If the books had not been a phenomenon this movie would have flopped and no talk of a second one would be out there. I am also not a tweener or a Gen X mom, so this movie was not targeting me, so it wasn’t likely to resonate well with me anyway.

Another possibility I still have to keep in mind… When I finally do ready the books someday, I may find that they really weren’t that good either. That is a review for another time. Until then , I will go with the assumption that they were as good as people (the Gen X moms I know) say.

Now, I noticed they canned the director of the first movie and hired someone else for New Moon, which comes out this weekend. I have to say, the previews seem decent. New Moon has the potential to shed the stink of Twilight. I’ll let my wife watch it two or three times before I give it a go. 🙂

Twilight did give me the opportunity to insert a new phrase into my repertoire, “Wow, that was Twilight bad!”

Where Icarus Flies Review: 1/2 of a set of wings out of 5 (our lowest rating possible)